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Angst Nostalgia

June 22, 2011

I’ve been listening to Pandora for a while and it’s probably the only reason I haven’t switched to a Windows Phone yet. If you’re not familiar with it, you choose songs or artists and build your own radio stations.

I was sitting and listening to the rock music I listened to as a teenager in one of those rare moments of inactivity in between other moments. With headphones in my ears and sitting on my bed I closed my eyes and remembered listening to these same songs in my angsty youth. I tried to imagine myself sitting on the bed in my parents’ house being a teenager and feeling the emotions I felt then. But the emotions I feel now for this music are just echoes. And I can’t even get myself to forgot for one second who I am now. I think that’s a good thing. I feel stronger and more confident now. Maybe more like an adult than I wish I always was or had to be but there it is. Something in me has fundamentally changed and grown. No going back.

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 22, 2011 8:43 am

    Hi Fluffster! Your momma shined the floor for you. I loooove Pandora. I max out the hours every month. I didn't have a teevee growing up, I had my radio and recorded tapes. Music is a huge part of my life, particularly when I need help just going day to day. Music is an effective zoning out method for me. I do get lost in the music of my teenie bopper years still. 80s hair bands is a station! While you were sitting on the bed with earphones, I was busy jumping on it like a dancing queen with my microphone belting out the weekly top 40. The ceiling in the living room below my bedroom had a bed-shaped crack. I can't resist. jc

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