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I think I Can’t

June 8, 2010
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So I'm a bit of a cynic. When you announce your intentions to become a professional interpretive dancer, and everyone else is just standing there smiling and nodding their heads, I'm the one who's going to tell you how and why it's not going to work out for you. Not like it matters since I've never heard of anyone really changing their minds once set on a thing like that. NYU started calling their students and verifying they were aware of and ok with the high tuition cost and they still kept paying $50k a year.
 
I had a good friend in high school who was a dreamer. Even then I fancied myself a practical person. I had a major picked out by sophomore year and figured I had a good idea of some jobs in that field as well as some backups (of course it turns out I wasn't practical enough, or didn't have enough backup plans, hello College Part II). So this friend. He told me he wanted to create stuff. I kept asking him what that meant, did he want to be a movie director? Not exactly he'd say. He just wanted to leave high school and create stuff. Well I probably tried to stomp all over his tentative plans like the hard boiled bitter young pessimist I was already becoming (my Native American name is Dreamcrusher).
 
Turns out that's what he does now. He creates stuff. He's a bit of a minor internet superstar. I don't know if he makes any money off of this stuff (he still lives in Hometown, but then again, so do I, so that's not conclusive). But he has travelled to other countries, and done videos for major game websites like IGN. And obviously he's not starving to death so some kind of support is coming in from somewhere. And he looks happy. And he's doing what he always told me he wanted to do. So to all the people who's dreams I've walked all over, and insulted them for naive, I'm sorry. There, I said it. When you told me you wanted to be a chef at a restaurant and I belittled your dreams and told you you'd probably quit the program after a year- I'm sorry. When you were convinced you were going to open your own business and have more money and more time teaching Austro-Hungarian Jujitsu to preschoolers and I laughed your face off- I'm sorry. Turns out I can be wrong. Turns out some people really can live their dreams. I don't think it'll make me any less cynical or bitter than the coffee I drink but my eyes are open just a little more.
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